The Columbus Crew chopped down the Portland Timbers, 1-0, on Saturday, and built themselves a wooden ladder to the top of the Eastern Conference. Eddie Gaven’s 79th minute goal propelled the Crew into a first-place tie the Philadelphia Union. Philly has two games in hand, but that is canceled out by the fact that the Crew and Union have a pair of head-to-matchups yet to come. Given their extensive off-season makeover, first place isn’t exactly where the pundits had imagined the Crew would be nearly two-thirds of the way through the MLS campaign.
Crew coach Robert Warzycha, however, is not surprised.
“I think if you look at some of the games that we play(ed), probably we should have some more points,” he said. “So, am I surprised? I'm not. Because when we started to make some changes in the beginning, and we brought in this guy and that guy, we told them, we said that we were going to keep the core of the guys here. And if they produce, we're going to be very good. I think today, they produced. Robbie was very active, Eddie scored a goal, Manu was active also, and Chad, and obviously a guy like Renteria making changes when he comes on the field. And we have a few more injured, so when they come back we're going to be a very good team.”
The Crew’s 8-6-7 record is solid, but hardly imposing. Their first-place standing has more to do with New York’s unexpected struggles than Crew dominance, but the Crew are in their customary standings placement nonetheless.
“Our record definitely isn’t what I think of in the past when we were in first place,” said Robbie Rogers. “I think that we’re definitely capable of being in first place and staying here, but I think we still have room to improve. We have a lot to learn. We’re for sure a team in transition. The last three years, it was like, ‘We should be in first place’ and we were in first place. But this year, it’s tough. There are a lot of new guys, so I think it’s only going to get better, so that’s a positive.”
Consistency and goal production are the biggest hurdles for the Crew to overcome if they wish to stay in first place. Their scant plus-2 goal differential is indicative of a team that has taken a few bad losses and has trouble finding the net.
“I think we’ve shown that we can be a really good team,” said Eddie Gaven. “I don’t think we’ve shown that every game, and that’s the next challenge for this team. We have to show it every night. That’s the next level for this team. We have a really good team defense, and we just need to keep trying to put more balls in the back of the net.”
GAVEN PUTS A BALL IN THE BACK OF THE NET
The game’s lone goal came off of the foot of Eddie Gaven in the 79th minute. Actually, “foot” isn’t entirely accurate. Tommy Heinemann hit the post, and Gaven somehow managed to reach back and bang the ball downward with his trailing leg. The ball perfectly split the wickets of Crew teammate Emilio Renteria, then bounced upward to chest of Portland defender Mamadou Danso as he stood just inside the goal. The ball caromed off of Danso’s chest and trickled into the side netting. The league’s stats service originally declared it an own-goal, but the correction was made to properly award the goal to Gaven since his shot was going in anyway.
“As long as it goes in and we win, that is the most important thing,” Gaven said. “It went off the shin guard, almost. It was high on my leg. It was just one of those things where the ball came out and I didn’t really have time to think. I just swung my leg out and tried to hit the ball toward the goal. I don’t really know what happened, to be honest. I just swung my leg, fell down, and then I saw the ball tricking into the goal.”
Gaven’s goal salvaged yet another near miss for Heinemann.
“I was leaning one way, and then trying to pull it in,” Heinemann said of his shot that hit the post. “Unfortunately, I have had a couple of close calls. Goalies have made some great saves on me, I’ve hit the post, but you know what? It’s about pushing through that. I am confident that the goals will come. “
I suggested that Heinemann study Gaven’s finishing technique.
“It was textbook, wasn’t it?” he said with a smile.
CREW PERSERVERE
Gaven’s goal was the first Crew tally in 258 minutes. It also came after the Crew were denied three potential scoring chances based on judgment calls by the officiating crew.
In the 26th minute, Robbie Rogers had his heel clipped as he dribbled in the Portland box. It wasn’t an egregious foul, so the referee let it slide.
“I talked to the ref about mine in the first half,” Rogers said, “and he said, ‘Yeah, he got you.’ And I was like……well, ok, maybe he will call the next one. But then Eddie’s was a penalty and he didn’t get the call.”
In the 63rd minute, Danso ran up Gaven’s back in the Portland box. This appeared to be more of a clear-cut penalty, but alas, it went uncalled.
“Tommy played me a ball, I took a touch toward the end line, and he just got me to be honest with you,” Gaven said. “I thought it was a clear penalty.”
The non-call was all the more aggravating given that three minutes earlier, Chad Marshall’s corner kick header appeared to cross the line, but was kicked forward, off the bottom of the crossbar and out of the goal. Replay and photographic evidence indicated that the ball had crossed the line, although it was very close.
“It would be nice for Chad to score a goal because it would be nice to be rewarded with the goal,” Warzycha said. “It was a good cross and a good header, and obviously luck wasn't on our side.”
“When I headed it, I thought the guy was inside the goal, but whatever,” Marshall said. “That’s life.”
It’s not that any of these three calls was an egregious failure on the referee’s part, although the Gaven penalty comes close, but it’s just that for a team in a major scoring slump, it was improbable (yet fitting) that none of these three calls went their way when it would have been just easy (and more correct) for at least two of the three to go their way. When you’re struggling, the breaks seem to go the other way.
This game was a “nothing went our way” excuse waiting to happen. But rather than hanging their heads and cursing the referees or the soccer gods, the Crew battled on and eventually got the goal they needed.
“You have to keep on playing, and that’s what this team did tonight,” Gaven said. “Right now, we’ll take goals any way we can get them, whether it’s off a weird play like mine, whether it’s off a cross, whether it’s a great shot from 30 yards, it doesn’t really matter. It feels good to just get a goal tonight.”
G-BAUM’S CLEAN SHEET
A quad injury kept William Hesmer from the starting lineup, so Andy Gruenebaum made his first league start in goal since August 30, 2009. In the process, he collected his first league shutout since June 30 of that year.
“I think this was the perfect game to get into when you haven’t played in a long time,” Gruenebaum said. “There was really limited action in our end of the field. It was just a lot of distribution. The guys were working really hard in front of me. I think they were terrified to let them shoot because they figured it would go in. Ask Tom. All the guys were like, ‘Noooo! Don’t let them shoot!’”
So did the offense feel the pressure to score five or six goals since Gruenebaum was in the net?
“Six or seven, probably,” Heinemann said. “That’s what I was thinking.”
After a brief pause, Heinemann decided to get serious.
“No,” he said, “Andy’s been playing really, really well in training, so I’m happy that he got the win tonight. I thought he did great tonight.”
IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT, GET OUT OF THE, UH, STADIUM
The heat wave that has baked the nation has been tough on soccer players. Columbus spent the week in the mid-to-upper 90s with heat indexes approaching 110 degrees. Running several miles in hot, humid conditions is never pleasant. Saturday’s game cooled off to 85 degrees due to the 8pm kickoff, but the heat index was still in the 90s. And the Crew were playing their third game in a week, with a cross country trek to Los Angeles mixed into the middle of the week. The players somehow managed to fight through it.
“This game was such a test,” said Robbie Rogers. “Someone said they felt I had a lot of energy tonight, but I was dead. I was DEAD. I have no idea how I was still running. I was absolutely dead. It’s tough traveling. That’s one of the hardest parts about MLS is that teams are traveling back and forth from the east coast to the west coast. The travel takes so much out of your legs.”
“It was a struggle,” said Chad Marshall. “I was struggling today and yesterday. I couldn’t even move my legs at practice yesterday. I’m sure it was like that for them too. They had to come all the way from Portland and they’re not used to this weather, so we had to use it to our advantage. I thought we took the game to them, but they have some fast guys who are going to get some chances, but we did well breaking those up.”
Tommy Heinemann experienced similar conditions on a weekly basis when he played for the Carolina RailHawks. He has learned to adapt.
“You become so waterlogged that it’s like running with weights on,” he said. “It’s all mental. If you can get past your fear and get that second wind, then you’ll be fine. If you can persevere mentally, then you’ll be fine physically. You just have to know, ‘I’m fit. I can push through this. I’m just really, really wet and sweaty right now.’”
And then there’s Eddie Gaven, who is still sporting his bushy lucky beard.
“It’s still working,” Gaven said of his good-fortune facial hair. “It’s hot though. I’m going to have to trim it up or something because in this 95 degree heat, it’s tough to run around this shaggy thing on my face.”
TIMBER JOEY? WE CAN BEAT THAT!
Portland has one the strangest customs in professional sports. At home games, if the Timbers score a goal, a man named Timber Joey revs up a chainsaw and rips through an enormous log as if it were an amorous teenager at Camp Crystal Lake. The hunk of wood is then presented to the goalscorer after the game. I’m not sure what you do with something like that. Use it as a really big coaster, I guess.
Anyway, a couple of months ago, Craig Merz approached me with an idea for Crew games that fits in with Central Ohio’s image.
“Cow-tipping,” said Merz. “Whoever scores the goal gets to push the cow over.”
You may recall that Craig once came up with the idea of the “Butter Bruce” (Arena), an homage to the state fair’s butter cow. Basically, Craig is my go-to guy when it comes to generating bovine-themed content.
So imagine a cow doped up on non-benzodiazepene hypnotics so that it sleeps through all of the chants and songs and raucousness of a soccer match. When the Crew scores a goal, the goalscorer joyously rushes over to the conked-out moocow and gives it a celebratory shove. Then some behind the scenes equivalent of Timber Joey, say, a guy named Butcher Billy, hauls the toppled beast away and presents the goalscorer with fresh steaks after the game.
I decided to run this proposed tradition past Eddie Gaven, since he would have been impacted had this brilliant plan been in place for Saturday’s game. So, what say you, Eddie?
“That idea is pretty ridiculous,” Gaven said. “I'd feel pretty lame about tipping over a sleeping cow. It just seems kind of bully-ish to me. I guess some people find it exciting, but I don't see why. I guess you'd feel like you earned the steak if you scored, but I'd rather just go to Hyde Park and order some there. Maybe we can get gift cards instead?”
(Sigh.) So the players don’t want to tip over snoozing cows and have them slaughtered on the spot by Butcher Billy? Now we’re supposed to invent a character named, like, Gift Card Gary? I guess it’s back to the drawing board on this one. Merz is going to be crushed when he reads about this.
CURSE OF THE ROOMATE SLOWLY EXPANDING
As has been chronicled in this space in the past, Robbie Rogers is at the center of the so-called Curse of the Roommate. If you live with Robbie Rogers, you get shipped out of town. The curse is now expanding its reach with the recent trade of Robbie’s neighbor, Andy Iro.
“It’s insane now,” Robbie said. “I don’t think the Crew is going to let any players live near me.”
Just as we started to talk about this new twist, Andy Gruenebaum sauntered over and deliberately situated himself awkwardly with one foot on the bench in front of Robbie’s locker. As he faced Robbie. Thankfully, he had pants on.
“Do you know about the Curse of the Roommate?” Robbie asked the Hebrew Hammer.
Gruenebaum did not.
“Danny Szetela and Tim Ward lived with me,” Rogers explained. “Then Brad Evans. Then Steve Lenhart. And now Andy Iro was my neighbor. It’s expanding to neighbors now.”
The radius is certainly growing.
“Now it’s going to be the whole city,” Gruenebaum said, picking up the pattern. “It’s going to be a wholesale change for all of us!”
“You live in the ‘burbs though,” Rogers assured Gruenebaum, “so you’re safe.”
“Good,” Gruenebaum said.
Then he mercifully took his foot down off of the bench.
GEOFFREY UPDATE
In case anyone wondered if a carved replica of an African mammal can fall victim to Stockholm Syndrome, the answer is apparently yes. As detailed in last week’s Notebook, Geoffrey Giraffe has been a good luck charm for the Crew and William Hesmer ever since the wooden creature was abducted from Hemser’s home by Gruenebaum and his accomplice/wife Lacey, and then eventually dressed as a Crew player and placed outside of Hesmer’s locker at the team’s training facility in Obetz.
But then Hesmer got injured and Gruenebaum picked up a shutout in his place. Could it be that Geoffrey Giraffe has switched allegiances to his hostage-taker, Gruenebaum?
“I think Geoffrey misses me,” Gruenebaum said. “Will can deny it all he wants, but Geoffrey and I shared some tender moments, so he’s good luck for me too.”
Questions? Comments? Know of any other instance in American sports where a first place team didn’t have a single all-star? Feel free to write at sirk65@yahoo.com or via twitter @stevesirk
